Sometimes silence is a good thing.
I relish it.
It's beautiful,
And it's mine.

Solitude is not bad either.
I dwell in it.
Because there, everything is real and honest and true.
There is no pretending or disguising or second guessing.

There is just me.
Only me.
And that is fine.

I sing and listen.
I daydream and scheme.
I indulge in make-believe and fairy tales.
It's my freedom.
And I inhale it.

Because I cannot go anywhere else.
My mind is my escape.
And mine alone.

So, I have this question I've been thinking about recently.

Why is it that when a couple gets into a fight that ends with someone being kicked out of the bedroom, it's always the woman taking the bed while the man retires to the couch regardless?

Is it because it's a gentlemanly thing to do even if the woman was at fault? Or because the woman is the one who has the claim to that part of the house (almost like the kitchen)?

This is just a random thought - not particularly out of experience, but merely out of curiosity. Fortunately, that hasn't happened in our household.

Yet.

And, if it does, which is very unlikely but then again you never know, I'd gladly take the couch.

Our Christmas vacation is officially set up. We're spending it with Ian in the UK this year.

Woohoo!

I'm totally excited and mentally/physically preparing myself for it. Christmas is a pigging out season (at least for me, anyway) and knowing my brother's culinary stunts will mess up my resolve for weight-watching, I seriously have to do some prepping for that before I come back like a huge stuffed turkey. I may have to boycott eating altogether because I'm planning on celebrating the holidays in style. You know, pretty dresses + heels + make-up and all that girly stuff - so I'd feel and look like a grown up for once. It's one of the few excuses I have to dress up. I never get to do that that much these days. My life is boring as we speak.

But I digress.

There really isn't much to tell about myself. Unless of course you're interested about my plans on re-vamping my wardrobe. If you look inside my closet, it's a vision of eclectic mix. It's boring, though. Add to that sad and pathetic. Okay, I do have some good stuff, but the majority is pure junk. If the fashion police finally decides to raid my closet, they will definitely chuck everything out and I'll end up snatching my favorites before they notice. I have to do something about that. My thoughts are gearing towards hoodies and colorful cardigans, skinny jeans and sneakers. Maybe get another haircut? Ooh, what about dye? If only I could pull off skinnies. I may have to find me a sharp butcher knife (we don't have one, unfortunately) and slice off a thick part of my thighs because lipo is expensive and this way is a whole lot easier and quicker. Messy but, you know, quite as effective. Haha! Sorry for that gory detail and clearly it was a joke. (Gah, my sense of humor just plummeted. That is if I have one.)

If only I had longer legs though, it wouldn't have mattered.

And, no, before you think it, I'm in no way depressed! I'm practically cracking myself up writing this. I just tend to blabber nonsense a whole lot lately and this is why I thought staying quiet was a good idea. No point subjecting you to mental torture while reading my nonsensical thoughts.

But you're all very sweet and welcoming and probably checking back for updates often so this is the least I could do.

Thank you, my darlings! You make my heart swell. :)

I'm still alive.

I know most of you are worried about me - why I kept to myself for a month without notice, why I haven't answered your e-mails and comments, why I haven't visited your blogs and left comments as I used to. Be rest assured, though, that I am well and happy.

I'm currently nursing a cold though. But, other than that, I am doing great!

The break was something I didn't plan but I'm glad that I took it, nonetheless. It was a rather selfish thing to do - indulging myself, lazying around the house, living on take-outs, deliberately keeping away from social encounters, not keeping in touch with people, etc. - but I sort of needed it. I spent time with myself doing things I like and I felt like I know myself better. I haven't done anything like it until recently and I will be lying when I say that I didn't enjoy it because I enjoyed it immensely - much more than I should.

Ah!

So yeah, I'm back. Sort of. :)

I want to bounce, bounce, bounce around the house. I feel so elated it's making me high. The caffeine-withdrawal effect is taking on a totally different route. I'm suddenly more hyper than usual.

One reason I could think of this sudden change is the bright sunny weather we're having today. It's been dreary, wet and cold for the past weeks which I actually loved, by the way, but the sunshine perked up the energizer bunny in me. And I like it!

I've recently received two surprise packages in the mail. Surprise because I really wasn't expecting them. At all. Maybe these also explain my hyper-bouncing mood as well. Eeeee!

Dyanie sent me a package of crochet and sewing sundries with a handwritten letter. I was expecting a postcard from her, but instead, she sent me more than that. How thoughtful of her!

And, there's the mixed cd from Nicole with a letter sent with hugs and a lollipop (of course, Mike ate it - lol). I absolutely love the songs! I'm actually listening to them right now for the nth time!

Thank you so much for the lovely mail surprise! *bouncing hugs to you both*

Ah, so much catching up to do!

I have been off caffeine for more than a week now, except for yesterday, when I took a few of sips of Coke while we watched Forbidden Kingdom. The effect of this caffeine withdrawal is making me sluggish the whole day. I'm always sleepy and tired, but I am convinced in my resolve to cut it off. So far I haven't craved for it and I wish it stays that way. Though drinking it was all I could think of while watching Hellboy 2 yesterday (yes, we did a sort of movie theater marathon) because I had a hard time fighting off sleep during the first 30 minutes. That was a real torture because I didn't want to miss anything. It took a lot of control to keep my eyes open the whole time. I did enjoy both movies though, especially the fight scenes in FK and the characters in H2. The plots weren't really all that, the stories were pretty straightforward and predictable, but the effects and cinematography were worth the tickets we paid for. It was good to be out like that again, I owed Mike that.

I feel kind of crappy about myself right now because I can't seem to get off my Twilight obsession. I'm re-reading it for the 5th time (gasp!) and it just keeps getting better. How is that even possible? And you know what's bad? My shop going online is pending because of it. My mind is not totally back on track to the real world yet but I am better than last week so that's an improvement. I just need a bit more time to get attuned to the life without Twilight. I need to get my creative groove back. I just wish I read the saga after the shop was launched then I wouldn't have to deal with having to stall it again. One of these days, I will have to WILL myself to set aside any Twilight thoughts. Good luck to me!

Sigh.

This week has been a very intense one for me. The first time yet that I felt so absorbed and wrapped up in the world of literary fiction. I couldn't put into words how much it captured me - there are simply none. I have read the whole Twilight series 3 times in only 5 days. I know, right. Fanatic is a huge understatement. It just pulled me in like a magnet to steel and there was no way to fight that. The connection was too strong that after having finished all four books the first time, I went over to Mike and hugged him for a long time and sobbed heavily as he cradled me in his arms. I knew that if I even try to pull away, I will not be able to function well so I succumbed to it until I was sure that I was ready to face reality again.

So, yeah, I'm back.

Sigh.